


If Stardust Had a Taste, It Would Be the Salt on Your Skin

by nonnie325 (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 10:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nonnie325
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has never felt small looking up at the stars. Liam has always felt his words are inadequate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Stardust Had a Taste, It Would Be the Salt on Your Skin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zayngasm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayngasm/gifts).



When Zayn and Liam decide to spend a night on the beach, the moon is full and it reflects off the water, shimmering and casting a ghost-like light over the white sand. They drag beach chairs down onto the shore, just out of reach of the tide, and settle in right up against each other. Liam feels every muscle in his body relax, and drifts with the sound of the waves coming up to kiss the shoreline. 

After a few moments of peaceful silence, Zayn reaches into the front pocket of his shirt and pulls out a freshly rolled joint. He lights it up and takes a long drag, holding it until he feels lightheaded, then blows the smoke out in rings. He hands the joint to Liam. Liam hesitates - he's only ever smoked once in his life, and that was only a cigarette, but Zayn smiles at him with heavy lidded eyes, and Liam plucks the joint from his fingers and brings it to his lips. 

"Not too much at first," Zayn says. His words are a slow drawl, almost sleepy. "You'll cough it all out." 

Liam takes a small, experimental drag. The smoke is warm, acrid, and fills his lungs faster than he expected. He holds it for all of about five seconds before it's too much, and the smoke comes out of him in one big huff. It isn't long before his head starts to swim, and his limbs feel heavy. He passes the joint back to Zayn and they do this until it's gone. 

Liam feel very pleasantly stoned. He thinks he can feel the waves washing over him; his blood is flowing in time with them, and suddenly he can't keep his head up anymore. It falls backward onto the chair and a small chuckle escapes him. 

They stay in silence for a while longer, enjoying the breeze coming off the ocean, and then Zayn speaks again. He doesn't look away from the sky when he says, "Did you know we come from the stars?" 

Liam blinks a few times, trying to process what was just said. 

"Sorry?" he counters, because he just can't seem to wrap his head around it. Zayn smiles, but still doesn't look away from the sky above them. 

"It's true," he says. "We're star children. God, I sound like such a fucking hippy. But it's science, you know." 

Liam doesn't know what to say, other than, "Really?" 

Zayn nods. He finally tears his gaze away from the stars and looks at Liam, and Liam's brain short circuits because no, the stars aren't up there in the sky. They're here, right down here, in the eyes of his bandmate. 

"All the elements," Zayn starts again, "all the ones that make up everything we see around us - carbon, especially carbon - they're all forged in the hearts of stars. All that heat and pressure forms them, and then those stars go supernova. They explode. One of the most violent explosions we know of. The star will literally turn itself inside out. Elements get scattered all over the universe." 

Zayn never takes his eyes off Liam during his speech, and Liam is glad that Zayn is talking so much because he would have had nothing to say. 

"Stars died for us, Liam," his voice is a whisper now, a hint of awe coming through. "Can you believe that? It's crazy." 

Another moment of silence passes. Liam starts to worry if Zayn might think he's just an idiot; that none of what he's said is sticking, is just going in one ear and out the other, but then he speaks again and this time it's a question. 

"Has anyone ever asked you if you feel small when you look up at the stars at night, Liam?" Liam blinks and pulls himself together enough to answer. 

"Yeah sure, of course." 

"And do you?" Zayn is looking at him, nothing but curiosity on his face. Liam's chest is tight and it's not getting any better, so he opts to look at the sky the way Zayn was earlier. He brings his hands up behind his head tries to get comfortable again. 

"Well..yeah. Sure. They're so far away, and...well, haven't you seen that picture? "The pale blue dot" or whatever it was. We're a blip on the radar. Not even a blip, we're....we're a negative blip." He steals another glance over and realizes Zayn is still looking at him. "Don't you feel small?" 

Zayn smiles again, a real smile this time, and he goes back to gazing into the night sky. Crinkles appear around his eyes and Liam's chest tightens all over again. 

"Nah," Zayn says. "Not me. Never have. When I was small, I would always go out and stargaze. It was my favourite hobby. And you know, I was aware of how far away they were. I remember thinking that I should feel small. I should feel infinitesimal. But I never did, and I never could understand why." He pauses for a moment and his eyes gloss over, as if recalling that memory. 

"When I learned about where we came from - how the elements came to make us - I finally understood. The pieces fell into place. I thought, why should I feel small? Those beautiful lights up there - they made me. They died to make me. I might not be anything special here on earth, but I can live the rest of my life knowing that I'm part of something bigger." He stops and looks over at Liam again before finishing with, "I'm not allowed to feel small. I'm stardust. We all are. That doesn't seem like such a small thing to me." 

Liam is smiling now, and looking at Zayn like he might as well have hung the stars in the sky himself. He swallows down a lump in his throat and blinks a few times because no, he's not getting teary eyed at all. 

"I.." he starts, and has to swallow again because Zayn is looking at him, all soft features and bright eyes. "I never knew that. It's beautiful." 

"Yeah," Zayn says. "I suppose that's why I always try my best to see the good in people. It's hard to believe a person is completely bad knowing they're made up of one of the most beautiful things in the universe." 

Liam's chest relaxes and heat pools in his stomach. He doesn't know if it's the weed or the calming sound of the ocean, but suddenly he doesn't feel so nervous, and the next thing that comes out of his mouth doesn't really surprise him at all. 

"Those stars aren't more beautiful than you." 

Liam watches as Zayn's breath catches, and he lets it out slowly. "Liam.." he stars, but Liam twists his body and turns toward him, and the next thing either of them know, Liam has pulled Zayn off his beach chair on right on top of him. 

"You talk about these things all the time, Zayn, and I never know how to respond to them," Liam says. "But they're so beautiful; you're so beautiful. I never feel like anything I have to say back would be good enough. So I just. I don't know, I never know what to say, but I know I always want to kiss you." 

Zayn smiles again, and laughs, burying his head in Liam's shoulder. When he brings his head back up again his features are gentle and a smile is still playing on his lips. 

"So kiss me, then," he says. Liam feels like the breath has been knocked out of him. He threads his fingers through Zayn hair and guides him down. Their lips meet, and Liam thinks if stardust had a taste, it would be this - salt on skin, smoke and cloves from the cigarettes Zayn likes to smoke. Liam could drown in it. 

They stay that way for a while. Zayn rests his head on Liam's chest and feels his heartbeat. Eventually it lulls him to sleep. Liam doesn't last much longer. He'll never tell anyone, but just as he is about to drift into sleep, he thanks the universe for bringing him someone who makes his world so much more beautiful than he could ever have imagined.

 


End file.
